


яυℓє тнє ωσяℓ∂

by Bloody_Princess



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magic, BAMF Kira, Bad Ending, Banshee Lydia Martin, Bisexual Malia Tate, Dark Stiles, Derek Has Issues, Emotionally Constipated Derek, F/M, Groping, Hurt Stiles, M/M, Neck Kissing, Nogitsune Trauma, Non-Consensual Touching, Other Pack(s), Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Protective Kira Yukimura, Psychological Drama, Scott is a Failwolf, Series Finale, Slow Build, Spark Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-12-01 10:52:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11484852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloody_Princess/pseuds/Bloody_Princess
Summary: Senior year is about to end for the remaining members of the pack and pretty soon everyone will be going there separate ways. However the past can't be forgotten so easily and Stiles feels as if all his secrets are about to swallow him whole. With nearly everyone he's eve known fearing or just ignoring him the teen will venture into something that was thought to be dead for centuries, aspark.





	1. Bronze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody wants to rule the world...  
> -Lorde

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

_♦Bronze♦_

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

"So how are things at school?" Stiles smiled at the softness the former alpha's voice took and leaned against his bed's headboard with a smile on his face. "Are any of those shitheads messing with you anymore?"

"Nah they all got scared off from the last time." He said sighing as he drifted off to the last time he had a meltdown at school and began to blush. Bending down he reached under his bed and pulled out a pair of slippers noticeably a pair covered in black bunnies and slipped them on shrugging his shoulders. "Not like I care anyway everyone is still..." He stopped talking for a moment not knowing how to word what he was trying to say. "...scared of me?"

On the other end of the phone he could hear a muffled curse and instantly berated himself. It's not like he wanted to keep what was going on in beacon hills a secret from the sourwolf and his currently closest friend and he sure as hell didn't want to lie to him. After all it was no secret that he tended to be a god awful liar he just didn't want Derek to start worrying about him and the pack. From what he had heard things weren't the best in Mexico and he didn't want to make the man have to handle to much stress.

The teen bit his lip and sucked on it. He would just have to deal with his issues for now and push them under the rug. Within seconds of his inner monologue Derek had gotten back on the phone with loud noises that sounded eerily familiar to a car crash and apologized for leaving him on the line.

"It's fine Derek." Stiles reassured him with a small smile on his face. "It's not like I have anything better to do besides rewatch Jessica Jones again."

"You still haven't gotten over the limited amount of episodes huh." The wolf huffed his amusement evident with his voice with a small laugh leaving his lips.

Stiles hissed and stomped his foot lightly since his dad was sleeping from a long day at work and it was only two in the morning. He huffed annoyed by the man's comment and found himself frowning at his laughter.

"Hey!" He said putting a hand on his hip. "Krysten Ritter deserve more recognition for her work!"

"Is that so." Derek said and Stiles could have sworn he could feel the soft comforting heat of his voice on his neck. "Or do you just think she's attractive."

"Not really you know I dig redheads. Though I can't help but love a woman who can take me down a few notches if you know what I mean..." He said licking his lips unintentionally.

He could hear Derek small laughter become hysterical on the other line and he felt his heart sore. It was good to hear him laugh after being alone for so long and he caused it to happen. Humming he savored the warm feeling in his chest and allowed himself to let it tingle throughout his body before drifting out of his mind and back into consciousness.

Burning he walked over to his desk and sat down listening to the older man describe his day at work having recently gotten a job at a local tattoo shop and was now one of it's best artists. Nothing fascinated the human more then hearing how different their life's had become and how much has changed. Deep down it hurt him to know that even Derek had left him to crawl in the dark but he pushed this down and locked it deep within his heart not allowing to to even be acknowledged.

"I gotta go Stiles." Derek said and the boy instantly felt himself frown and clamp up. The man had slight regret in his voice and he felt his heart drop.

"No problem." He chewed on his bottom lip looking at his alarm clock. It was four seventeen they had been talking longer than usual. "Nighty night Sourwolf."

When the line went dead Stiles let out a small giggle and held his head in his hands. He felt as if he had been lifted out of the darkness and shown the light only to be stabbed in the throat and forced to crawl back down. He wasn't wrong since he had to got to school sometime that week and the wolves would surely come for him.

 _ **Let them come,**_ A voice whispered in the back of his minds nearly passing by unnoticed until he felt a hand cover his mouth and caress it.  _ **Let them come and face what they've forced you to become.**_

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

_♦Bronze♦_

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

Waking up that morning was like hell. Stiles could barely move a inch of his body without feeling as if he had to vomit and he shuttered with each wave of nausea. Looking over to his desk that lay a few feet away his eyes landed on his vibrating alarm clock and flinched. The noise was echoing throughout his skull and it made him nearly seize in pain. Gritting his teeth her closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before sitting up in his covers.

"Ngh shit." He said licking his now cracked and bleeding lips unable to contain his shock at how wrecked he had become. Flexing his toes he inched over to the edge of the bed and sat his feet down onto the carpet.

With each step he took the less pain cane with it and by the by time he made it to his alarm clock he just felt worn out. Yawning he scratched his arm and grabbed a brush from the back of his desk and began the long trek of getting himself ready for school. It wasn't that the teen didn't like school hell he actually looked forward to it sometimes it was just that it was annoying when he couldn't walk down the halls before being pointed at.

Being told that he belonged in a insane asylum whenever he woke up from a nightmare in class. Left to sit alone in the bathroom stall when the pack ignored him occasionally joined by Malia with the former coyote complaining that she preferred his cooking then the slop they got at school. He didn't know if he could go threw another day of doing that again at least not right now.

Should he skip? The idea sounded extremely good right now and he found himself about to go back to bed. However he knew eventually his father would at least begin to suspect something and he didn't want to face that argument. Sighing he made his way into the bathroom and turned on the light.

His voice caught in his throat as his eyes met with the mirror. Immediately his hands began to over the scars on his body, on his throat, on his wrists and the urge to vomit grew. Never in his mind would he imagine he would end up doing such a thing to himself.

"No." Stiles said his throat dry. "I didn't do this. I  _wouldn't_ do this." 

He choked up and began to breath heavily reaching blindly for the shower curtain. Grabbing onto it he yanked it down not caring that it nearly fell off of the bar and turned the knobs on high allowing water to fill the tub. A shaky breath left his body and he dug his nails into his arms.

He looked down and noticed how they where jagged and nearly bleeding from the top. Disgust filled his senses and he held his breath to keep from heaving. Stepping into the bathtub he sunk down to the bottom ignoring the pain that struck his body as the hot soapy water entered his wounds and laid his head against the marble wall behind him. The cold was a gift to him in contrast to heat pulsing through his body and he let out a gasp.

The water came up to his chin before he turned the knobs to a stop and floated on the top of the bone chilling liquid. It massaged his body and he felt the kinks and soreness in his limbs loosen into nothingness. Satisfied he allowed himself to sink to the bottom and closed his eyes taking in the sweet smell of the perfumed body wash and bubble bath surrounding him. He felt himself start to drift off to sleep and yawned closing his eyes as they began to grow heavy.

Making sure not to slip entirely under the water Stiles relaxed with his body going lax and fell into the peaceful land of his dreams. His hearing became muddled as some water passed them and his hands uncurled. In the back of his mind he could hear the soft lullabies his mother used to sing to him when he was a child. He didn't really think much of it and fell into the bask of peace surrounding him with a soft smile.

 _ **Sleep Stiles.**_ He moaned feeling someone grab onto his chin and lift it up.  _ **Sleep and forget everything you could ever know.**_

His eyes flew open and he gasped coming up from the water gasping for air. Water came spilling out his lungs as he leaned over the side of the marvel bathtub and vomited out the water and soap that had filled his body until he felt as if he were going to cough up his lungs. Panting he held onto the edge with eyes wide in a mix of fear and shock. 

Everything had gone black and next thing he knew he was drowning in a bathtub. A  _bathtub._ He felt the urge to laugh at the situation and started to only for his hoarse laughter to turn into wet sobs. Holding himself he looked down at the soaked floor with his thoughts spinning in panic. He looked up at the clock at the wall and and cursed at the sight of the clock. 

Nine twenty, god he had not only missed free breakfast at school but his dad leaving. He let his head fall to the ground and shuttered before grinning at himself miserably.

"Well." He said coughing into his arm. "At least I have a excuse for not going to school."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, Kudos and tell me what I can approve on! :)


	2. Turquoise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **"Kill me my darling. Kill me so I won't have to face your grave as a I wake from this dread."**

 

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

_Turquoise_

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

The knock on the front door had woken him up. Groaning Stiles opened his eyes staring in shock at what was the living room ceiling. He didn't remember getting up from the bathroom, he touched his chest and shuttered nor did he remember getting dressed. Warning bells went off in his head and he felt his hands clamp up at the thought of not being able to control his own body. Swallowing thickly he got off the couch with no problem and made his way to the front door looking through the peep whole.

He was met by the narrowed amber eyes of his former girlfriend and current best friend. From what he could see she didn't appear to be in the best mood and he yanked open the door preparing himself for whatever onslaught of words he had coming. He stood with his eyes squeezed shut in silence before hearing Malia clear her throat and he slowly opened his eyes just a peek in case she still was prepared to attack.

"Stiles." Malia said holding a large Tupperware container in her arms. "Are you high or something? Because your not wearing any pants right now and I don't know how to respond to this."

He laughed at that only to stop at the blank look she was giving him and took the time to look down at himself. "Holy shit. I'm..." His mouth became dry and he began to cover himself with his hands in a desperate attempt to shield the girl's eyes. "...I'm naked."

Malia nodded and handed him her jacket to cover himself with which he took eagerly and wrapped around his waist. He felt his cheeks begin to burn and opened the door all the way letting the girl in. Without moving his hands he made way towards the couch and sat down scooting over so she could sit next to him.

It was silence for a few minutes before Malia opened her mouth to speak. Stiles waited for her to talk but the girl seemed to be lost for words. 

"So why weren't you at school this morning." She handed him the Tupperware container with a huff. "I had to eat that mush alone."

Stiles frowned looking at the container with a confused stare. "What do you mean you where alone?" He got up with the jacket hanging loosely on his body and opened the fridge taking out some leftover salad. "Why didn't you sit with the- _your_ pack?"

He couldn't ignore the festering wound that opened in his heart at the word. Pack. Once that word had brought him strength and the knowledge that he finally belonged for it to now beat him down into nothing. His fingers dug into the salad bowl cracking the already weak plastic and cutting into his fingertips making them bleed. A labored breath left his mouth and he wiped his wet hands against his shirt.

"There aren't my pack." From behind him he could hear the annoyance in Malia's voice and smiled inwardly. "The special snowflake wouldn't let me sit with them. Something about not bothering to attend meetings and stupid stuff like that."

"You haven't been to any of the meetings?" He frowned at this and turned towards her with the Tupperware bow full of salad and cut up chicken which she took eagerly. 

Malia rolled her eyes and ate some of the sale moaning in delight at being able to eat actual food for once. "This is good." She wiped her mouth with the bottom of her sweater and chewed loudly. "Why would I attend any of meetings if you don't come? It's pretty boring when only one other person will even acknowledge your existence."

Stiles couldn't say he was shocked by this having known that she and Scott weren't on the best of terms. He crossed his arms over his chest and thought about the last time he had ever been to a meeting with the rest of the pack. It wasn't hard to remember only being a few months ago however he felt guilty for not taking into account how his best friend might feel about him leaving. The urge to apologize grew and he had to bite his lip from doing so.

"Whose that?" He said slowly clearing his throat to try and stop the awkward tension in the room.

"Kira." She said shrugging her shoulders and put her head in her arms yawning loudly. 

He nearly dropped to the ground at that and turned around with a wide eyed look. Over the months they had known Kira he hadn't really had any time to interact with her besides the occasional running into each other at the store or at school. Admittedly he could say he didn't think much of her besides the fact she helped him out of the whole demon trauma mess(or she thought she did) and he thought he could trust her. However he never knew about her and Malia's relationship hell he didn't know anyone else besides Scott had a relationship with her.

"She makes really good sugar cookies and pies." She said lost in thought. "Like the best pie I've had in town maybe even better than yours."

Stiles was more than shocked and walked back over to her sitting down next to her with a groan. He began to cross his legs only to groan in pain when the sore are rubbed against one another and barley kept himself from crying out in pain.

"So do you want to go?" Malia finished her head in hands as she looked over at him with tired eyes.

He blinked not knowing what was going on licked his lips as he said slowly to see if he was hearing right. "Go where...?"

She looked at him as if he was stupid and nudged him on the shoulder. "Go over Kira's house this weekend. Duh."

Stiles nodded slowly figuring that was what she had been talking to him about when he had zoned out again. The prospect of getting out of the house sounded good to him and he was getting sick of being alone all night.

"Who else is going over there?" He said silently hoping it wasn't some douchebag from her theater class.

"No one really." She said thinking about for a moment before saying quickly. "Her parents are out of town so we'll be the only ones there."

Stiles thought it over and shrugged. It would better then being alone all day with no one to talk to and he wouldn't mind getting to know the thunder kitsune better with the pack hovering over his shoulders. A smile spread across his lips, a real smile and he sighed. Maybe this would be good day after all.

 

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

_Turquoise_

♦⚫♦⚫♦⚫♦

He entered the convenience store with a groan his body still sore from whatever hell had gone through earlier that morning. Almost instantly his nose was hit with the smell of bleach and strong apple air freshener nearly making him cough from how much was sprayed. Walking into the store he looked around and sighed in relief barely anyone seemed to be there. He dug in his pocket self consciously feeling the twenty dollar bill slip from his grasp and made his way towards the snack section.

On the rare occasion that Stiles decides to torture his father with fat filled delights he made sure to get it from the cheap section not wanting to spend on his cash on twinkies and whoopie pies. He licked his lips at the sight of all the European chocolates littering the shelves and sifted through them while throwing some in and putting  them back when he found something better. This cycle continued as he grabbed hold of a bag of potato chips only to touch the back of someones hand.

"Holy shit." He yelped pulling back and nearly ripped the bag open causing the other person to catch it in there hands and cuss in Japanese. Wait japanese he bit his lip and held his forehead in his hand realizing what that meant. "Kira?"

The other rack shuttered as it shook with the person in front if it moving away the food and junk littering it shelves. On the other side allowed the top half of the girl's face to show and she blinked in shock recognizing who she was taking to and immediately blushed.

"Omg Stiles I'm so sorry!" Kira cried holding her face in her hands and groaned embarrassed. 

Stiles shrugged and shook his hands when she tried to give him back the bag of chips. He felt himself flush from guilt at the way her face seemed to shine with embarrassment and her eyes shine with some hidden emotion. All the blood in his body chilled as he saw the growing flames gather in them and remembered the feeling of staring into his own eyes with that same fire deep within the void.

His throat closed up and he dug his hands into fists digging his overgrown nails into his skin. "It's fine Kyra. You can have them if you want to. I have plenty of junk food to pick from anyway."

Kira stood there looking at his fist and said quietly. "Uh, thanks. But are you um are you okay?"

"What?" Only then did he noticed what he was doing and he unclenched his fist which now had begun to bleed. "Yeah I'm good how's things."

"Things...there not so good." She said her face turning a bright shade of red and she looked at him smiling sadly. "Scott and I where not doing so well." She bit her lip and sighed. "It was bound to happen anyway with him being a wolf and me being a-"

"-fox." Stiles finished a hollowness to his voice that disturbed him. 

Sweat dripped down his body as the words passes through his lips. His tongue felt to big for his mouth and his body felt as if it couldn't carry his weight. He shivered and looked around the store feeling as if there was eyes all around him.

"Stiles are yo- okay I need you to breath in and out for me." He looked up to see that the kitsune had crouched been to face him realising he had curled up on the ground.

The blood felt hot in his veins and his eyes watered. He was in middle of a panic attack and not only was he in public but with Kira. Scott's girlfriend was with him. Reality shifted and he began to pant unable to contain himself any longer.

"Shit!" Kira screamed panic all over her face and she turned back screaming for the store clerk to come over to them. "No Stiles stop scratching yourself buddy it's okay it's okay."

A choked gaps left the teens lips almost as if he was drowning in his own fear and he clawed at his throat blinded by the raw horror filling his body. It had been years since he had such a powerful panic attack before and he felt as if someone had plunged his head under water and stabbed his lungs. Blood filled his mouth as he bit his tongue and dripped down his chin.

"Stiles buddy I need you to listen to me." He felt someone grab hold of his chin and was met with the bright amber eyes of the girl in front of him. "Who can I call to pick you up from the hospital? Please you gotta stop closing your eyes."

The fire in her eyes nearly suffocated him and a low keen whine left his body. He couldn't help but associate it with the ones that filled his nightmares and recoiled. No- Kira was his friend and he needed to fight through his fear to help her. Digging his nails into the ground he wheezed and tried to speak.

"D-" Stiles eyes rolled over in his head and he fell back onto the floor gasping for air. A familiar pair of eyes came into view and his face froze in shock. "De...Derek."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CHAPTER THREE EXPERT**
> 
>  
> 
> "What do you think caused my son..." The voice was echoing throughout the teens head almost as if he was hearing it from under water. "...to freak out like this."
> 
> "Sheriff your son has had many panic attacks before." A hand rested on his head and he felt as if his skin was on fire. Disgust flared in his body and he tried to move only for his body and eyes to remain frozen. "This isn't any different then the ones he had as a child."
> 
> A loud noise went off in his head instantly making realise that the deeper voice, his father had punched a wall. Shivers went down his spine at the rare show of violence his father unleashes and with it came the guilt knowing he was the cause of it. 
> 
> "Sheriff-" The softer voice possibly a young woman said with her words coming out slow as not to further provoke the man.
> 
> "God, I'm sorry." The man's voice wavered and he sighed sounding tired. "I just don't know what to do. How couldn't I see the signs."
> 
> Your never around that's why. He wanted to day feeling his eyes tear up and liquid dripped down his chin. The urge to speak grew and he found himself screaming into the black abyss in frustration wanting to be let out and have control of his body. Everything burned and he felt his chest began to grow heavy.
> 
> "Sheriff there is something I would like to ask you." The female's voice took a turn going from understanding to hushed and he flat something maybe a blanket be pulled up to his chin. "Where you aware of...where you aware your son self harmed?"


	4. Authors Note: Greetings 2018!

_Hey guys!_

_It's been like what eight months since chapter two was released? I know some of you are probably mad that I up and abandoned this story for so long only to write and abandon other things. I honestly tried to write and finish chapter three in August! Yes over seven months ago and I just forgot about it!_

_Yikes I know pathetic. Well while in my time away I rejoined the Danganronpa Fandom, became obsessed with Juni Taisen, entered my first year of highschool and promptly got food poisoning causing me to miss the first day and orientation... So yeah a lot._

_I've become more or less more popular in some fanfics like Realization of Loss has over **one hundred kudos!** A year ago I could barely make fifty! Also I've gotten over lost internet friendships and dealt with poisonous people. _

_These experiences have stressed me out so bad I'm reverting into !y 2016 eight month long writers block faze. Yikes again. Also I have become more popular on tumble with three hundred followers, I believe on amino I have 420(?) And have lost the will to write fanfiction three times in a row._

_What is wrong with me? Anyway I have also started the first draft of a novel I wish to publish someday and have thought of other crazy things I can't share right now. Did I also mention I'm releasing a new polished, clean typo free edit of this baby soon._

_So expect random update alerts my friends! Chapters might even be extended! So yeah sorry my bad I tend to lose interest in things I write fast only to gain them back months later. See you guys soon in April!_


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